Sunday, January 29, 2012

Here and there

"When will you go back to Malaysia?"
"InsyaAllah on 12th February, dan kelas di PMC starts 12 March".

Dia menggangguk tanda faham.

"So, what will you do over there?"
"InsyaAllah akan mula clinical years, masuk hospital etc. Kiranya sekarang ni baru habis 2.5 years in Ireland, and I gotta continue there for another 2.5 years."

And there was a short silence.

"Well actually I don't understand, why should the government sent you to do your pre clinical years abroad and then come back for clinical in Malaysia?"

"Err, so that we can learn more and get used to the disease in Malaysia?". That's the reason that I have after all. I must get used to the environment, get used to the common diseases- so I would have a clear picture about my workplace once I graduated and surely it helps me to practise better. Isn't it a good thing to learn in the environment where you would end up working for your entire life? She made me thinking of any downside that I might not realize before. And I hardly can find any at the moment.

"Pre clinical, you can learn it anywhere. I think it would be better if you can do your clinical years here."

"Why?," I suddenly interrupted.

"Because the theory is just the same no matter where you learn it. Your clinical skills that differentiate whether you would be a good doctor or not.
Yes, that's true in Malaysia you can learn more and in fact you can DO more over there compared to here. But based on what I observed, kesian tengok HO yang kerja macam robot. They lost the value of treating the patient. As doctors, having a good communication skills is very crucial in treating your patient and also in creating an effective working environment. 
Your clinical skills(ie how to the such procedure etc), you can master it within months. As an HO, you will do it over and over again so that would be no problem. It's actually your communication skills that I think back in Malaysia it's still problematic. 
Specialist,consultant bila suka marah-marah, so HO jadi takut la. Bila takut kena marah, kerja pun buat takat bagi lepas je-asalkan siap. 
As a doctor you should treat the patient as human being and be a good team player among your colleagues.
The environment in Malaysia is still not conducive in producing a good doctor with good communication skills. That's why I think it's better for you to develop the skills here."

Her explanation made me speechless. 
I've never think from this point of view, and surely she talked based on her own experiences. She is Dr.Zainab, graduated from RCSI which also means she is my super super senior. There was also Dr.Intan in her house when I came to visit her last Christmas holiday in London. 
And both of them changed my view within minutes. 

"You know when I greeted my staff and asked a few things macam 'makan apa pagi tadi?, sihat ke?', dia boleh terdiam sebab terkejut sekejap. Dia cakap 'Doktor, sebelum ni tak pernah ketua jabatan tegur saya macam tu..'. Kita kat sini kan dah biasa bila jumpa senior doctor, consultant ke they greet us every morning. Kadang-kadang benda kecil macam ni yang membuatkan environment tu selesa untuk bekerja," added Dr.Intan. 

"Ooo..bagusnya." That's the only word I can say, while my mind kept 're-programming' the way I viewed the medical environment before.

And the chatting went on with a lot more stories from them. I loved to listen to the stories because it came with a piece of advice for me to reflect and not to repeat the same mistakes. Syukur sangat Allah temukan dengan mereka petang tu.

Well, I'm not saying that studying medicine in UK/Ire makes you a better doctor. After having an evening with them I concluded that our own personality will determine who we are in the future. Starts develop the good skills from now, so it will become your habit in future. Be positive and strong in dealing with other human being. Always be humble, but at the same time know your stuff(jgn humble n dlm masa yg sama mmg xstudy pun-so mmg sendiri yg rugi!). You're a daie who works as a doctor, so if a daie has a bad attitude, could you promote your deen(way of life) at the same time? You'll never be. 
I also realized that knowing the skills to win the heart of people/mad'u will also make you a better Muslim doctor. Yes, when da'wah skills is being implemented in daily business. The business which in turn brings you back to your Lord.
O' Allah, tsabbit qulubana a'la deenik..

"Tapi takpe lah..dah kena balik, balik la. Jangan risau, and do your best. It's not gonna be easy for you, so be prepared."

Yup, be prepared.
For all good things that I learnt here, I shall continue there insyaAllah.
For all bad things that I discovered here, I shall never repeat it there.

And to Your Lord, you shall turn to.

Heal the world!
(picture from here)

Friday, January 27, 2012


Assalamualaikum wbt

Subhanallah, it has been a while i didn't update my blog. Yes i did feel quite guilty but i don't want to write anything rubbish over here. When the blog was kept in dust, i've been asking myself - what happen to my heart? Why don't I have anything to tell the world? There was a feeling of emptiness when my heart didn't 'talk' as much as it always does. And that's worrisome.
Maybe it just a problem of writing it back in a blog post-as new things and new tarbiah from Allah happened everyday(thanks to Allah)- but when i couldn't find some time to sit down and write, i'm afraid i can't even find anymore time in the future. Yes, future is waiting for me for more challenges. I'm currently preparing in all aspect-but I can't lie to my heart that I am nervous and worried. 

One can never predict his future, but one can change his future by taking the first step today.

And it's about transition.

Picture from here

Some people around me had just gone through a big transition in their life. Guess what? They've just got married :) (lol, i'm not planning to write about marriage in this post, but i am about to congratulate them here)
So, congratulations to four important people in my life after all this while-Paa, Ajim, Kak Sharifah Hidayah and my cousin Kak Qilah. Barakallahulakuma, and may Allah gathers you and your spouses under His Kindness till Jannah. Aminnn.
I did feel quite sad since I'm unable to attend any of the wedding reception(walimah).
During Paa's wedding, most of us were struggling with exams over here in Dublin. But alhamdulillah, she came  to UK&Ireland after that so we were able to meet her and had some sisters sharing session :)
Ajim and Kak Sharifah Hidayah, yours will be on 4th and 5th of February. Kak Qilah's will be on 12th February. And I am here, waiting for my flight to Malaysia on 12th of February. That's why I can't fulfil the invitations although my heart really wants to be there! InsyaAllah i'll keep all of you in my prayers :) 
May Allah guides you while adapting for this new transition. Who knows in the future you'll be my advisor before I step for my own transition insyaAllah:)

Picture from here

And Malaysia, here I come.
In two weeks time, i'll be going back home. For good. Not sure when will I come back here again. And Malaysia would be my reality, and UK&Ire will be keep in memory. I've learnt a lot from studying here and travelling around, insyaAllah I'll be back as a better Muslimah.Amin ya Allah.
Adopt the good things and leave the bad ones. 
I'll be missing EVERYONE. Every single soul that I meet over here, which made me closer to Him. What more can I ask than an ukhwah fillah that kept me strong after all this while?
It keeps me in His path, and it always does. If I am about to fall, they're the one that pull me on the tract back.O Allah, I love them for Your sake and please protects them till hereafter..allow us to meet again in Jannah if not in this world..
Ok, end of sad tone. 
I'm neutral at the moment, haven't started cry yet(yeah, i've cried twice before act huhu).Hopefully I can hold back my tears in the airport(OMG that's really hard..).

Another two and a half year before I completed my degree. And the learning process wouldn't end till I die insyaAllah. The class in Penang Medical College will be start on 12th March 2012, and before that we have to settle down properly in Penang ie find house to rent, know the route to hospital etc etc. I've never been there(the island) and it will be my second home now.
New friends, new environments, new Malay accent(lol).
It' a big transition for me personally, and I prayed to Allah to make me strong. 


Thursday, January 26, 2012