Saturday, May 10, 2014

Dear blog

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Bismillahi Rahmaanir Raheem.

All praises to Allah, The Almighty God, the Creator and the Sustainer. I bear witness that there is no other God worthy of worship except Allah, and Prophet Muhammad SAW is His Messenger.

It has been a while since I wrote my last blog post. I thought I would be able to maintain to post monthly even a short line of sentence but apparently I didn't manage to do so. At the moment my friends and I are fighting in revising everything we could for our final year exams. Yup, for our very last exam in med school insyaAllah.

Many time it came across my mind that I wouldn't be able to finish revising all topic. The workload is very huge and the stuffs to memorize are just too much at this little time. Sometimes I was disturbed by the anxiety and worry of the exam everytime I meet my friends or go to the wards. Everyone looks stress, but we never forget to support each other. After all final med is about passing the exams together...

At this moment, I prayed to Allah to keep us in faith all the time, ease our difficulties, lift up the anxiety and shower us with Allah's Mercy. O' Allah, I am worried if I were too carried away with this dunya. Please help us to make this examinations as part of ibadah, in striving to be a better Muslim. O' Allah, please forgive me for all of my sins and ignorance, guide me with Your Nuur and please do not leave me to myself even for the twinkling of the eye. Ya Rabb, I put my life into Your Hands...

Amin ya Rabbal Alamin.






Saturday, March 22, 2014

Open your horizon

I know it's beyond the border.
So you can see better :)
Ouh. But this picture got nothing to do with the issue.


Assalamualaikum wbt

Today's date gonna be exactly 3 months before my graduation day. It's a good time to look back on what I've been through all this while, especially when the SPM results was just released a few days ago. 

So, which pathway are you gonna choose next?

Medicine? Em. 
You sure? No regret?

Since the previous years until now, medicine never fails to attract those SPM high achievers to choose this field as one of their most desired career. Well, at this moment, if you were to ask me whether you should choose medicine or not, I would advice you to think about it again. Have you read enough stories and comments from people in the medical field about what are they facing everyday? Have you been aware of the current condition about houseman, MO's or even the specialists or consultants on the problems they are dealing with currently-the glut of doctors and the ineffective systems?

Well, don't get me wrong. I am not writing this post to criticize your option to join medical field-in fact I'll be one of the people in the system too by end of this year insyaAllah. Medicine has been my passion since I was young. Being given the chance to study medicine is a great gift from Allah. But of course, with hard work and tears before I am able to call myself a medical student. 

My parents didn't ask me to become a doctor. I made the choice on my own. The funny thing is when I was in 4th med, I asked ummi whether she would allow any of my sisters to follow my career pathway. Her answer was expected.
'Takpalah, cukuplah kamu seorang je yang jadi doktor dalam keluarga. Jenuh ummi tengok.' 
Huhu. Thanks to my family for supporting me throughout the journey. I'm almost there!! ^_^

I'm sorry if I've gave you a negative thoughts about medicine. It isn't that bad actually, if you stay being positive at all times. The people around, the workloads, sacrifice and the agony will definitely test your patience. A reminder for you and me: keep having faith in Allah, and be a good Muslim doctor. 

I believe a lot of people has been writing on this issue once SPM results was out. Open your horizon, medicine is not the only available field for your tertiary study. There are a lot more things to learn and experience other than medicine and engineering(these two courses are commonly chosen by the science school students. There were 30 students in my form 5 class back in 2006, and if im not mistaken 16 of us already/will be graduating as a doctors. Waa). If you don't like medicine, please don't do it. If you're forced to do medicine ie by your parents, I hope you'll get some help to persuade them to allow you to follow your interest. Because at the end of the day, it is YOU and the PATIENT who will suffer the outcome.

Talk to your seniors, go to any career talks, refer to internet sources about the courses, universities etc. And last but not least, I highly recommend you to come/tell your juniors/spread the word around about this event (refer picture below). Part of my mind setting and motivation before I started my tertiary education was gained after I attended this program in 2007. 

Excellence is not about having good grades.
It is about having the knowledge and experiences that turns you into better person, and benefiting the ummah.
'Alim mujahid.



Monday, February 10, 2014

Home birth

Assalamualaikum wbt

Long ago when i was in the primary school, my friends and i were used to look at each other's birth certificates as all of us need to bring a copy of it during our first day of school every year to hand it over to our class teacher. We usually talked about which hospital that we were born, what time, our birth date-whether easier to remember or not and etc. 
And the normal chit-chat would be-
'I was born in this hosp-very far from where i lived now-'
'I was born in that hosp-we didn't move anywhere since then-' OR
'I was born overseas-but i can't remember anything about being there-sadly'
Urm, nothing special. But suddenly all of them will give their weird look at me when i said:
"I was born at home". Hee.
*peace*

Picture by alachamberlain from DeviantArt

All of my siblings except me were born in the hospital. My brother was quite sick at that time when my mom was due to deliver me. He needs ummi very very much and ummi couldn't leave him just like that-and there was where i came in. 

So it was an unplanned home birth. A midwife was called to attend the delivery. Ummi said she experienced an obstructed labour-she described it as my head was pulled back into the perineum (i imagined it as 'turtle sign' which classically referring to shoulder dystocia, where the anterior shoulder of the fetus become caught under the symphysis pubis) but my mother was told that it was umbilical cord strangulation that cause the obstruction.

The controversial part of the story was when the panicked midwife called a traditional midwife(bidan kampung) to help with the delivery(you see, this should be an emergency as i was stuck over there-and my mom was in severe pain-why didn't she call the hospital at the first place?). And yes the bidan managed to help me at the end. All praises to Allah for protecting my mom and me.

There was a lot of grey area in this story as I doubted the actual diagnosis and how did I manage to survive without any medical equipment to monitor me and my mother's condition. I wonder what could be my Apgar score at that time. Anyway here I am still surviving the world under Allah's mercy.

My actual point from this story is: anything can go wrong during the delivery. Even if you are at low-risk for complication, it's better to stay at the center where specialist help is there for you. 

I would like to share with you below an article written by Prof Madya Dr Rafidah Hanim Mokhtar, from Faculty of Medicine and Health Science, USIM. I copied the article from Dr. Zainurrashid's blog. You can find the link here.

**************************************************


"There is this wide misconception that natural means Islamic. Natural means leaving things in the hands of Allah SWT. Active interventions mean otherwise, that one is not having enough faith because one depends too much on another human, or on technologies.
This is wrong.
WEIGHING MAQASID AL SHARIAT IN MODERN MEDICINE
I have had the privilege to be an academician in medical faculties of 2 esteemed institutions, previously in IIUM and currently in USIM. Students in both institutions are taught that Islam covers a wide approach in investigation and treatment and that includes a holistic scope. Students are taught on the concept of maqasid al shariat, or purpose of law. 
There are 5 purposes of law (maqasid al shariat):
1. preservation of morals and religion (hifdh al diin)
2. protection and maintenance of human life (hifdh al nafs)
3. protection of the human intelect (hifdh al aql)
4. protection of progeny (hifdh al nasl)
5. protection of property rights (hifdh al maal)
In maqasid al shariat, there is no mention on the approach of how one achieves the protection. It is neither natural, nor modern intervention. If either one proves it is better than the other, say to protect one’s life, than we are to choose the better method. In preserving life, it is in fact WAJIB to choose a better method.
OBSTETRIC, HOME BIRTH AND ACTIVE MANAGEMENT OF THIRD STAGE LABOUR (AMTSL)
Obstetric discipline whether in Malaysia or abroad has gathered almost enough data on the risk of home deliveries, our grandmothers’ generations had endured.

There were post delivery bleeding because placenta would not come out which needs blood transfusion, there were cases of cord around neck that babies came out with breathing difficulty that he/she needed ventilator, there were cases that mothers endured prolonged labour that Caesarean section was inevitable. All these need hospital settings. 
Injecting certain medicine to make the uterus contract faster to avoid bleeding, as well as helping mother delivering the cord, a procedure called control cord traction (CCT) are procedures in the active management of third stage labour (AMTSL). Yes, these will definitely involve chemicals, help from others and machines. But as I said, the maqasid shariah dictates the importance of preserving life, not the method. 

QAWAID AL SHARIAT
This brings us to another concept which is the 5 principles of law (qawaid al shariat):
1. The principle of motives
2. The principle of certainty
3. The principle of injury
4. The principle of hardship
5. The principle of custom
In the principle of certainty (yaqeen), it is stated that a certainty cannot be voided, changed or modified by an uncertainty (al yaqeen la yazuulu bi al shakk). 
It stress that any change in treatment or human behaviour should not be based on the new evidence that is not at the level of certainty. The principle has graded the level of knowledge in decreasing order of certainty as below:
Yaqeen (certain)
Ghalabatul Dzon (predominant conjecture)
Dzon (conjencture)
Syakk (doubt)


In medicine, to be certain on important decision, one has to be on the ghalabatul dzon level based on the facts (from experimental, observation, literatures) that he/she has. A 50-50 chance is not enough.
This requires research and studies. Therefore, evidence based medicine with adequate research, is very much Islamic as it provides the objective measure of Qawaid Al Shariat. 
I therefore could not comprehend people who reject modern medicine on the grounds that it is less Islamic.
The case where the mother was reported to die because of retained placenta more than a few hours for waiting for it to be expulse naturally, is very much regretted. Studies have shown that AMTSL has reduced the risk bleeding or post partum haemorrhage by 60-70%. This is by comparing of only cases delivered in hospital with many other facilities available. AMTSL even in home birth, in my opinion is helpful. And if AMTSL, which has no contradiction in syariah, and proven in studies to have greater benefit, by the law of preserving life, should be a mother’s choice.
In summary, modern medicine is to reduce all these risks. It’s not intended to cause hardships to mother.
But mothers who nevertheless had to endure hardships because they delivered in hospitals, and they had to share facilities with other patients, knew very well that all those were for the sake of their babies. 
So when a mother would like to choose whether it’s a home or a hospital delivery, please weigh your option carefully. Giving birth to enjoy home atmosphere, as I read from the many reasons given by mothers over related blogs or forum, should be rethink by the question: Whose interest do you have in mind, yours….. or the baby’s ? 
As for this 2nd case of maternal death reported, al Fatihah. My condolences and may Allah grants great sabr to the family.
P/S: The above note was guided by a module called Medicine and Health : An Islamic Perspective by Prof Omar Hassan Kasule, part of the postgraduate curriculum in IIUM Faculty of Medicine, that integrates aqli and naqli."
Prof Madya Dr Rafidah Hanim Mokhtar
Deputy Dean Academic and Research, Faculty of Medicine and Health Science, USIM
Chief Information, Biro Wanita ISMA
Vice President II, I-Medik

Thursday, January 16, 2014

If only we follow him better



Assalamualaikum wbt

Tatkala kenangan kepada figur agung itu menggamit hati, terbayang bahawa akulah orang yang paling gembira jika dipertemukan Allah dengannya.

Setiap bait katanya adalah menasihati.
Setiap tindak tanduknya adalah mendidik.
Setiap tegurannya adalah mengajar untuk menjadi baik.

Andai Rasulullah SAW masih ada bersama kita, pasti setiap akhlak kita diperbetulkannya.
Andai baginda Rasul masih di sisi, pasti terubat setiap duka yang membebani di bahu ummat ini.

Ya Rasulullah, maafkan kami kerana masih belum cukup gigih mengamalkan pesananmu..


"Belajar dekat mana?".
"Dekat sini je, pakcik". Balasku pendek. Fikiranku ligat memikirkan pansystolic murmur yang didengari melalui stethoscope. Ternyata pakcik ini menyembunyikan masalah jantungnya daripadaku. Sedari tadi banyak soalan-soalan berbaur sinis yang ditanya kepadaku sepanjang clerking dan examination process. Kalau bukan kerana respiratory end of posting exam hari ini, he would never allow any medical student to approach him.

"Kenapa tak belajar di UK? Sebab result kamu tak lepas ya?"
"Kenapa kamu punya MARA pinjaman je? Kenapa kamu tak dapat biasiswa?"
"Pakcik sengaja tak beritahu kamu pakcik ada masalah jantung..pakcik nak tengok kamu dapat cari ke tak."
"Kenapa kamu cek semua ni? Doktor lain tak cek pun. Kamu ni masih banyak tak tahu rupanya.."

Dan lain-lain soalan dan komen daripadanya.

Saat itu saya terkenang, bagaimana Rasulullah SAW dapat bersabar dengan karenah seorang wanita tua buta berbangsa Yahudi setiap hari. Diriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW setiap hari akan meluangkan masa untuk menyuap makanan kepada wanita tua ini, dan pada masa yang sama wanita ini akan terus-terusan menghina Rasulullah SAW, tanpa diketahuinya bahawa individu yang menyuap makanan di mulutnya adalah orang yang setiap hari dia hina.

Allahu akbar.

Imagine someone who has no blood relation with you, continuously condemning you while you're serving them.
Sungguh, sabar itu adalah di tahapan paling sukar pada saat yang pertama ia berlaku. Kesabaran yang diucapkan selepas amarah itu 'dilepaskan' tanpa sedar sebelum itu, bukan kesabaran yang sebenarnya dituntut.

"La taghdhob". Jangan marah. Begitulah nasihat Rasulullah SAW.

"Seorang Muslim (yang sempurna islamnya) itu ialah yang menyelamatkan orang islam lain daripada gangguan lidah dan tangannya."
(HR Bukhari dan Muslim)


Wallahua'lam.

If only we follow him better.
Salam Maulidur Rasul 1435H




Oh ya. Saya berjaya de tour komen2 pakcik ini akhirnya. Caranya adalah dengan mengajak dia untuk bercerita dan tunjukkan kekaguman dengan ceritanya. Surely he will cooperate after that :)

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Strength in what remains


I
Tak berkelip mataku memandang keadaan sekeliling menerusi tingkap kereta. 'This is real', bisik hatiku. Selama ini hanya mampu melihat di tv akan musibah yang menimpa mereka. Now here I am, in Kuantan bersama secebis kudrat untuk membantu. Lebih tepat lagi, aku datang untuk mengambil ikhtibar daripada mereka. 
Kami berhenti di sebuah rumah setingkat di Perkampungan Sungai Isap, antara kawasan yang paling terjejas disebabkan banjir yang berlaku awal bulan ini. Rumah ini sama seperti rumah-rumah lain di sekitarnya- ada timbunan baju kotor dan basah, longgokan sampah di luar pagar rumah berupa perabot rosak, buku-buku, bantal, tilam, kerusi, sofa dan lain-lain barang rumah yang rosak sepenuhnya dan ampaian yang dipenuhi dengan baju yang sempat dibasuh apabila kerja-kerja pembersihan rumah dimulakan. 
In that house I saw a mother of three was busy pulling a black, round plastic bag in front of her house. Her sons-I think they were around 5,4 and 2 years old were also busy playing with the water hose. Clearly that these kids were unable to help their mother to clean the house. Their father was off to work. And..this supermom who did the cleaning all alone before we came was actually pregnant. Around 6-7 months i think.

Guess how deep was the flood few days back? 
It was 6-feet in depth-around 180cm if we compared in height. I am totally drowned if I were there.
This family lost almost everything. In fact every affected family lost almost everything. It is as if you have to start your life all over again with nothing. I know I couldn't understand fully how did they feel as I've never been involved in such severe floods. (My first experience was during 2-day floods in Dublin where my house were also affected-the water level was above knee and it was freezing cold)

But I can see the strength in their eyes. I can feel the patience in their words. The strength that still exist, over what that remains. 

(While in Kuantan, news came out stating that our beloved Gaza currently affected with floods as deep as 7 feet and it's winter now. O'Allah, we seek refuge from You. Please protects our brothers and sisters over there..)


II
" Adik, cuba adik eja nama kakak ni..", ujar ibunya yang sedang duduk di sebelah katil berpagar putih itu. 
Si kecil itu mendongak ke arahku, lalu tersenyum. Lantas kuhulur name tag biru di leher. 
"H-U hu..D-A da...eh!" Perlahan dia mengeja. Dan seperti yang dijangka, dia terkejut usai mengeja namaku yang hanya punya dua suku kata. Sekali lagi dia mendongak memandangku. Kemudian memandang ke arah ibunya. Ibunya tersenyum. Dan aku sejak tadi tidak lekang tersenyum padanya. Ada sesuatu yang menggembirakan tatkala bertemu si kecil ni. 

"Nama kita sama la, Huda," ujarku sambil mencuit bahunya perlahan. Kali ini senyumannya lebih lebar, menampakkan barisan gigi yang putih. 

"Adik nanti dah besar, jadilah macam kakak Huda ni ya", sampuk ibunya di sebelah. 
"Akak, ada satu lagi yang sama...tarikh lahir anak akak Huda ni sama dengan tarikh lahir saya, 10 Oktober". Dua fakta ini sebenarnya yang membuatkan hatiku tertarik untuk mendekati katilnya sejak tadi. 
"Yeke? MashaAllah...kebetulan pula," balas ibunya sambil tergelak kecil. 

Perbualan diteruskan selepas itu. Sempat ku bermain seketika bersama si kecil Huda. Dia sepatutnya sudah berada di sekolah rendah, mengikut kronologi umurnya. Kelihatan perkembangan fizikalnya agak kecil jika dibandingkan dengan kanak-kanak yang sama umur dengannya. She suffered from a type of childhood illness* that need multiple admissions to the ward. Probably endless admission until Allah makes her recover fully. InsyaAllah she will recover, biiznillah. 

She played so happily, as if she is at home surrounded by toys and books. 
She might not be aware about how the future would be and how worry her parents were.
But here is she, in the hospital fighting for her fate by all means. 


*The illness would not be disclose due to patient confidentiality.



III

Terkedu saat membaca status rakan di Facebook.
Seorang pakcik yang sudah lewat usianya, dimasukkan ke dalam ward kerana excessive tiredness. Selepas darahnya diperiksa, paras hemoglobinnya serendah 4.4 g/dL. (Normal Hb level for men: 13-18 g/dL)
Saya pernah bertemu dengan pesakit with Hb level as low as 2 g/dL. Some people can tolerate the anaemia very well. But some people can’t. Usual presenting symptoms are excessive tiredness, shortness of breath, dizziness, pallor, headache and palpitations.
Bayangkan pada level Hb serendah itu, pastinya pakcik tersebut mengalami rasa penat yang amat sangat. Dan anaknya yang menjaga beliau saat dimasukkan ke hospital pada tengah malam terkejut apabila pakcik tersebut masih gigih bangun malam untuk menunaikan solat tahajjud. Yup, at that level of lethargy. In case blood transfusion had been given before that, the Hb level won't raise immediately over 1-2 hours.  

Allahu akbar.

******************************************************************************
Masih ingat lagi kisah ketika Perang Uhud?

(berikut adalah perkongsian daripada seorang murabbi yang saya kagumi)


PERISTIWA PERANG HAMRA’ UL-ASAD
Menurut Ibnu Ishak, yang telah dipetik oleh Dr Ali Muhammad Ash-Shalabi: 

“Perang Uhud telah berlaku pada hari Sabtu 15 Syawal. Pada keesokan harinya, yaitu hari Ahad, yaitu 16 Syawal, seorang penyeru Rasulullah menyerukan untuk menghadapi musuh (ada riwayat mengatakan bahawa Rasulullah SAW seusai Shalat Subuh telah menyuruh Bilal mengumumkan kepada segenap kaum muslimin bahawa Rasulullah SAW memerintahkan mereka untuk keluar menyongsong musuh). Yang dizinkan ikut serta oleh Rasulullah SAW hanyalah mereka yang telah ikut serta dalam Perang Uhud pada hari Sabtu (kelmarinnya). Kepergian Rasulullah SAW hanya ingin menakut-nakutkan musuh dan menyatakan bahawa apa yang telah menimpa mereka tidak menyebabkan mereka lemah untuk mengejar musuh mereka. 
Dr Abd Karim Zaidan juga telah mencatatkan dalam bukunya ‘Al-Mustafad min Qashash Al-Qur’an: 
“...Sa’ad bin Muadz selaku salah seorang pemimpin di kalangan Anshar menemui kaumnya dan menggerakkan (mobilisasi) mereka untuk keluar sedangkan semua mereka dalam keadaan luka.
Beliau berkata: “Sesungguhnya Rasulullah SAW memerintahkan kalian untuk menentang musuh kalian!"
Usaid bin Hudhair, yang hendak mengubati tujuh luka di tubuhnya, berkata: “Kami mendengar dan taat kepada Allah dan Rasul-Nya”. Diapun mengambil senjatanya dan meninggalkan ubatnya lalu bergabung dengan Rasulullah SAW.

Bani Salamah keluar dengan empat puluh orang perajurit yang semuanya masih luka, antaranya Ath-Thufail bin An-Nu’man dengan 13 luka dan Al-Harits bin Ash-Shamah dengan 10 luka. Mereka sampai di hadapan Rasulullah SAW. Apabila mereka sampai di hadapan Rasulullah SAW Baginda berdo’a: “Ya Allah, kasihanilah (ampunilah) Bani Salamah” 



Sahabat-sahabat Nabi ini mentaati perintah Rasulullah SAW tanpa sebarang bantahan.
Walau luka masih mengalir darahnya, dengan tenaga yang berbaki, mereka keluar menyahut seruan Allah dan RasulNya.
Benarlah seperti diskripsi Allah SWT di dalam surah Al-Hujurat ayat 15, 

"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang sebenar-benarnya beriman
 hanyalah orang-orang yang percaya kepada Allah dan RasulNya, 
kemudian mereka (terus percaya dengan) tidak ragu-ragu lagi, 
serta mereka berjuang dengan harta benda dan jiwa mereka 
pada jalan Allah; mereka itulah orang-orang yang benar
 (pengakuan imannya)"


Subhanallah. 
Cebisan iman yang masih hidup menjadi punca kekuatan golongan-golongan di atas untuk terus melangkah menghadapi kehidupan mereka.
Walau harta diragut sekelip mata, nikmat sihat ditarik dan anggota badan cedera teruk- mereka punya kudrat untuk kekal bertahan di atas takdir mereka.
Inilah dia, strength in what remains. Kekuatan yang dipunyai mereka, kesan daripada iman yang masih tertanam di jiwa.

'Sandarkan harapanmu pada yang kekal, kerana Dia masih mampu memberi saat seluruh manusia hilang segala-galanya'


Allahu a'lam.