Life's like that

Allah gives us choices on how to live our life..appreciate it.
(picture from mclyte.wordpress.com)

Assalamualaikum wbt

I don't know how can i start this post.

Hm.

Sometimes things can't be explain by words. The silence tells all the secret.

Unexpected things happened around us, and made us realised that we're eventually weak despite the proudness and strength that we thought to have.

You might think this kind of incidence wouldn't happen to people near you. When the truth telling you otherwise, you're speechless. 

My lecturer started his tutorial yesterday by expressing his condolences with a piece of advice to never hold your depression to yourself.

He made us to wonder what has happened. Yelah, ucapan takziah out of the blue. We whispered with each other, but no one seems to have any idea. The lecturer saw us confused with what he had just said, added this statement that made all of us shocked.

"One of your friend had passed away. Didn't you know this?"

After the class, people started to ask around about the news to know what was happening.

On the same time we got an email from the college's admin for an urgent meeting the following day.

You can read about it here:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/5/25/nation/11358694&sec=nation

Death is something that everyone would face. Seeing people die, i believe is part of a doctor's experiences.

But suicide, is hard to accept by most human being. In fact it is still a taboo in our society. People don't really talk about it. When it happens, you just want to know how and what might cause it. Then buat la kesimpulan sendiri. 

Anyway police still investigating this case to exclude any foul play. 

This incidence made me reflected so much about my own relationship with my Lord, and available support system that I have. And also my capacity to support others too. 

There has been always a reason why we live in this world. Allah explains it clearly in surah Az-Zariyat verse 57. We are here to worship Him. To live our live in a way that He bless. Whenever you're down, just remember that you're never alone. 

As we believe in life after death, lets prepare ourselves for a good ending in hereafter by following Allah's path. 

Ya Muqallibal qulub, tsabbit lana 3la deenik wa3la thoati3..

[16 Mei] C.T.M

"Cikgu, keluarga saya tak percaya saya dapat nombor satu periksa hari tu", luah saya sedikit kecewa. Teringat pada hari saya penat meyakinkan ummi, walid, abang dan kakak-kakak. Report card tidak bersama saya pada ketika itu, maka saya tidak dapat menunjukkan bukti sahih pada mereka. 

Ummi dan walid mengiakan tidak, menolak hujah saya pun tidak. Abang dan kakak bersungguh tidak mahu percaya. Masakan tidak, peperiksaan itu merupakan peperiksaan pertama bagi saya di SK Seri Ampang. Peperiksaan Pertengahan Tahun bagi Darjah Satu.

"Iya? Betul la Huda dapat nombor satu haritu..cuma cikgu tak panggil la parents datang sebab ni peperiksaan pertengahan tahun je. Kalau peperiksaan akhir tahun Huda dapat nombor satu, baru boleh naik pentas ambil hadiah", balas Cikgu Nurulanim dengan lembut. Menerangkan keadaan sebenar dalam masa yang sama mengiakan pencapaian anak muridnya itu. 

Itulah kali pertama, dan kali terakhir saya mendapat tempat pertama dalam kelas ketika di sekolah rendah, huhu. (^_^)

"Cikgu...,"

"Ha, kenapa? Tak puas hati dengan keputusan kamu?". Belum sempat saya berkata apa-apa, Cikgu Nooraini bagaikan sudah dapat mengagak kedatangan saya ke mejanya di bilik guru. 

Saya tersenyum kelat. Menyimpan kekecewaan yang penuh di hati. Mendapat gred B untuk satu mata pelajaran, bagaikan kegagalan semua subjek lagaknya pada ketika itu. Menghitung hari untuk PMR yang bakal kunjung tiba, saya tidak boleh membiarkan gred B tertera pada peperiksaan percubaan saya. 

"Dapat A ke, dapat B ke, bukannya bawak ke mati pun..Jangan obses sangat nak kejar A tu. Awak sempat lagi perbaiki untuk PMR nanti. Untuk exam percubaan ni, memang saya strict sikit supaya student belajar daripada kesilapan. Bila dah PMR nanti, awak jangan risau la..insyaAllah boleh score kalau dah biasa dengan strict marking," ujar Cikgu Nooraini penuh hikmah namun bernada tegas.

"Sudahlah, jangan layan sangat perasaan awak tu. Banyak lagi benda lain yang awak boleh fikir. Keputusan baru ni, itu dah jadi takdir Allah. Redha je, dan usaha lebih lagi," sambungnya lagi, dan berlalu pergi. Anak murid yang demand sepertiku, jika dilayan pasti tiada penghujungnya nanti.

Scene ini masih segar di ingatanku. Ayat pertama cikgu itulah yang sedikit sebanyak mengubah saya selepas itu. Obsesi terhadap A, saya sudah tinggalkan jauh-jauh. Penat lelah cikgu sebagai murabbi saya dan kawan-kawan, memberi kesan yang besar terutamanya selepas kami meninggalkan alam sekolah. Saya baru faham dengan jelas segala pengisian yang pernah cikgu beri setelah saya memasuki alam IPT. Saat itu, saya mengucapkan syukur kerana diberi 'mata' oleh cikgu terlebih awal untuk menilai segala baik dan buruk di alam IPT yang penuh cabarannya.

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Murabbi pertama saya, Ummi dan Walid. Terima kasih kerana mengenalkan saya dengan Islam sejak saya belum mengenal huruf. Maafkan Huda kerana begitu degil saat terpengaruh dengan rakan sebaya. I will, insyaAllah and may Allah gives me strength, to be a good daughter until Allah makes us to gather again in His Jannah.

Semua murabbi dan guru yang pernah mengajar saya dari SKSA, SERATAS, dan KMB, you turned me into who i am today. Alhamdulillah, i'm so glad to have been meeting you as my tutor in managing my life as a better person. Thanks for every single thing, single word, single advice that you've said to me. I pray to Allah to shed His Mercy and Love upon you for your effort of changing us from 'zero', into a 'hero'. 

C.T.M.

Cikgu.Teacher.Murabbi.

Saya sayangkan kalian kerana Allah. 

pic from elaisblog.blogspot